"...because the worst bit is knowing that he cares, but I can't... reconcile with how I feel and what I've been taught... heaven help me, love is a double-edged sword that only its victims know the full potential of... a fear of love is the worst fear, because it's a cure to life's problems with a poison hidden in the middle, powerful but silent... too many what ifs and maybes have occurred in the face of the weapon that heals as it strikes... being hurt is too frightening to imagine, but being alone... is even worse..."
I have exams on Friday. I've started to revise, thank God I don't have any homework, this week is gonna be a nightmare.
I'm still working on all my stories and I've nearly finished Deep Water. I've written the ending for it, now I just need to write the last 5 chapters and I'll be all set to print it off. I have my food prac exam on Thursday morning, English, Maths and History on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off, my Psychology exam in the afternoon on Tuesday, and my Health/P.E exam and Food theory exam on Wednesday morning. This means I get two days off.
So you'll probably hear from me after exams! Until then, I'll be cramming as much crap into my head as I possibly can!
Belief - Gavin DeGraw
Belief makes things real.
Makes things feel, feel alright.
Belief makes things true.
Things like you, you and I.
Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife in the shape of your mouth,
In the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me, belief.
Belief builds from scratch.
Doesn't have to relax, it doesn't need space.
Long live the queen and I'll be the king.
In the collar of grace.
Oh, tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife in the shape of your mouth,
In the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me, belief.
I'm gonna yell it from the rooftops.
I'll wear a sign on my chest.
That's the least I can do, it's the least I can do.
Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife, in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my belief.
I will stand by my
I will stand by my
Belief.
Like you stood by me,
I wil l stand by mine,
Stand by my belief...
Beautiful song. I haven't heard any of his other stuff, either. I think I might look some more up, but I don't really know when I'll have the time.
(Oh, it's strange not being your friend anymore. I wonder where you went?)
Anyway, I have lots of work to do for exams so I'd better go.
"...and just like that the note fluttered to the ground, and I could hear God laughing at me... i had not loved him back, as he deserved, and now he had left me... again, I discovered the harsh way that love is a double-edged sword, with which one can harm and heal at the same time... my love and happiness had resulted in his death, and now my sword was stabbing me independently... all I could do was mourn the departure of my soul."
its.only.me
Monday, May 25, 2009
Agh>
Sorry I haven't posted. A lot's been going on and it's getting kind of hard to make sense of it. It seems like all my friends are stressed and tired and cranky all the time, and I don't really know how to deal with it. They're all telling me their problems. I'm stressed. But I'm trying really hard not to show it.
Exams in one week. Have Psychology on Tuesday afternoon and English, Maths and History on Friday. That only leaves two more, which means I must get a day off somewhere along the line.
At least I don't have biology exams. Ugh. That'd suck.
I think I'll do okay, though. Well, pretty OK, anyway.
I'm worried about J and it's 10. Night.
its.only.me
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Now playing.>
Look pplz! I have a song player FINALLY, so chances are if I put lyrics up here the song is on there somewhere. I like Day 'N Nite at the moment, it's the first song that plays offensively loudly and in your face.
The sleepover was awesome! We stayed up till 3 in the morning just being skitzy and weird, but eventually we were too tired to stay upright, so we went to bed. The next morning we had pikelets for breakfast and watched Lilo and Stitch until everyone left at about 11.
Hula instructor: Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day.
*Bemused looks*
Lilo: *Heavy sigh*. Every Thursday I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.
Hula instructor: Pudge is a fish...?
Lilo: But today we were out of peanut butter! So I asked my sister what to give him and she said a TUNA sandwich! I can't give Pudge tuna! *Stage whisper* Do you know what tuna is?
Hula instructor: ...Fish?
Lilo: IT'S FISH! If i gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to run to the store and get peanut butter because all we had was - was STINKING TUNA!
Hula instructor: Lilo, why is this so important?
Lilo: Pudge controls the weather.
Hahaha. I love Lilo. She's so random. I wish Ilived near the beach - the closest one to where I live is two hours away. Can't even make up for it with shopping malls, this place is a hole. I can't wait to graduate.
That's only two and a half years away. Shit.
I didn't realise it was that close. I graduate in 2011 ppl! Remember the day! December 2011!
its.only.me
Friday, May 1, 2009
AIWILLNOMYOURSOUL.>
That was for you, Rizzums. :)
I know, I know, I know - I haven't posted in forever, it sucks, it burns, it completely and epically fails (just like my maths). But I've been so friggin' busy it's not even funny, first week back at school was ARG and work experience was like WTFSPLODE and I just didn't.have.time and I'M SO SORRY!
Now that I'm past my apologies, I'll give you my quote of the day.
"No, I don't fail. I epically do not pass extremely badly and achieve a high level of non-passing that is familiar to me."
That was me, talking about Maths. Well, at least I won't fail English with a sentence like that.
Today was the funniest. J had a toy fish that D bought for him at Fisher's, for 99 cents. Anyway, Rizzums took it off him and he chased her around screaming "GIVE ME MY MOTHER F*CKING CHEAP-ASS 99 CENT FISH!"
We nearly pissed ourselves, we were laughing so hard.
So who thought Twilight failed? Epically? Who thought Edward was a whiny bitch? 'Cause I did. Only one thing fails more than Twilight and that's Breaking Dawn. Breaking Dawn = Epic Fail. I like the word epic, but you might have been able to tell that.
Work experience was SOO MUCHH FUNN!!! First was the primary school and that was really, really cool, they kids were like lemmings - launching themselves off the cliff after me in hopes of holding my hand. It was really, really sweet. But I was only there for two days and then I was at a coffee shop (where I work) and had to get up at 5:15 AM just to start cooking. Once I got home I was like *snooze*.
And me and E4 went to Renmark together too and did loadsa shopping, which was FULLY AWESOME because they have a lot more shit there than they do here and she got this awesome radio-controlled car that was like ZOOM and I got a piggybank with a skull on it and a voodoo doll. Highly awesome day.
Tomorrow I have a sleepover with like 10 of my friends. I don't know how they're all going to fit in my lounge room. Maybe we'll have to sleep outside in the dog kennel and freeze to death. And we might catch the flu.
But whatever!
We got a new car too, an Outlander, and it's pretty cool (I resent my parents for giving up on our faithful little Laser). And then Mum's getting a Ford Fiesta sometime soon from her retirement package. I'm learning to drive in it.
Oh, and everybody should read The Past and Other Lies by Maggie Joel, and the Mortal Instruments trilogy by Cassandra Clare.
I AM FINALLY OVER MY WRITER'S BLOCK! My newest creation is Solitary Confinement, starring Noah O'Malley, sixteen and my idea of a stud, who loses his memory due to a supernatural accident in a paralell dimension!
*Cue eebil laughter*
And it also stars Rizzums as - RIZZUMS!
I just couldn't resist.
I think I'm all typed out now, plus I wanna plan my story and get to bed early because I have work so meh. GOODBYE, HEAPS DIMSHAM ONES!
teh.eebil.nom
~ Me ~
[she] is ayla shannon gray ;]
[she] is sixteen years young... give or take a few months
[she] loves her friends to death.
[her] favourite colour is GREEN.
[she] may be slightly crazy. just a little, though.
[her] hobbies are writing, swimming, and shopping with friends.
[she] loves smiley faces! especially this one :B
[she] has lived in reddy her whole life.
[she] likes placebo, lifehouse, vertical horizon, muse, and many others.
[she] does not hold grudges... pointless :P
[her] season is summer.
[her] pets are cats and a dog.
[she] doesn't care what people think.. too much.
~ Likes ~
Vanilla ice cream.
Strawberry suckers.
Scented candles.
Colour.
Randomness.
Anime.
LOVELESS.
~ Loves ~
Family.
Friends.
School (lol)
Helping people.
Apples.
Chocolate.
Writing.
Weatherby.
Rizzums.
Jamie.
Captain McChuzzle.
Nessy.
Things worth fighting for.
~ Hates ~
War.
Famine.
Poverty.
Selfishness.
Fakers.
Broccoli.
Cauliflower (sp?)
Child abuse.
Murder.
Grey.
Fighting.
Crying.
~ Wishes ~
Peace.
Happiness.
Lots and lots of colour. (:
Trust.
